Politics: Oh Labor, What Has Become Of Thee?

Labor, oh Labor, what has become of thee?

Things are rarely this ugly in the Labor camp. Sure, there's alway in-fighting, bitching and back-stabbing, but it's not often that things are this bad. And, really, Labor only has itself to blame.

Of course, Latham deserves to have the fingers pointed at him. He should have been honest, the pundits and punters will say. If he was sick, he should have told us he was sick. If he was on holiday, he should have told us he was on holiday. Blah blah. It's all true - Latham, since the election, has been his own worst enemy, burning out instead of keeping the flames of Labor's opposition bright and burning.

I have a theory - and it's not the most mind-blowing leap - that the vast majority of Australians want to vote for a Labor government; they just need a reason. They need Labor to show them that education and health are important. They need Labor to remind them that the heart is more important than the wallet. And they need Labor to play by their own rules, dictating their own policies.

Instead, the Australian public is handed a Labor party willing to play the Liberals at their own ugly game, in which economic management is all-important and kids-maybe-thrown-overboard can decide an election. Instead of fighting with all the scrappy, working-class heart the party is supposed to have, they turn up at election time, get a bit dazed and confused, and get owned like the disorganised mongs that they are.

Who will lead the party now? Kevin Rudd clearly has the acumen and the personality of a leader but he looks like a bit too much like a munchkin (although looking like a furry garden gnome hasn't halted Howard's career, so perhaps Rudd could still be in with a chance). There's Stephen Smith, who is apparently a very clever man, but who is completely creepy in interviews, staring at the interviewer with his cold, beady eyes that seem to say 'I want to lick your eyeballs.' There's Julia Gillard, who is almost universally praised in the party for her intelligence and political maturity... but she's a woman. And, pathetically, Australia just isn't ready to make such a leap.

The best bet is Beazley. Sure, he won't win the next election, but he'll give it a shot. And if Rudd has a crack now, he's at great risk of suffering the same fate as Latham, burning out before he was ever given a chance.

Whoever leads, I beg of you Labor, change! Give Australia the reason it needs!

(Originally published in The Brag in the Fear & Loathing column).

(Photo: Labor man Stephen Smith, renowned pastry cook).