Album Review: Tonjip - Nice Guys?

From the press release accompanying the Nice Guys? EP: ‘This next chapter in the Tonjip story again sees the band steering well clear of current musical trends, choosing instead to continue the unrelenting search for that sound which defines them as a collective, setting them apart from the gamut of industry types and scene-sters.’

C’mon! Press releases are notoriously packed with wank, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Nice Guys? is a fun EP, loaded with heavy, pounding drums and melodic pop. The guitars are distorted, there are some simple vocal harmonies, the vocals are pleasant and the choruses have got some good hooks. But Tonjip aren’t reinventing the fuckin’ wheel, and their sound hardly sets them apart from the ‘industry types and scenesters’ that their PR team so mockingly decry.

But then, they didn’t write their press release did they? I shouldn’t hold a bit of wankery against them, especially when they’re not responsible for it, right?

Right. So I won’t. Either way though, Brisbane four-piece Tonjip aren’t doing anything too exciting here. There are flashes of intrigue like Selection Criteria, a weary, faded, reverb-heavy number with subdued vocals. It’s a slow, grounded track that unfortunately never elevates, refusing to move from first gear to second. Regardless, it’s nice enough.

Dow Jones’ Locker shows off the band’s ability to frustrate. Opening with a plaintive harmonica, and some clean, finger-picked guitar drenched in reverb, it’s a genuinely stunning way to start a track… ‘the ocean seemed to serene’ coos lead vocalist Phil Usher. Things are just about to take off and… it ends. At 1:50, it’s a wasted opportunity - a beautiful track that again, never takes off.

The radio-friendly pop-rock of the title track, Nice Guys?, and album closer Coolite – which apparently made its way to number 3 on the Triple J Net 50 – are entertaining efforts. Coolite especially is a surging, rocking, bass-heavy single, packed with more hooks than one song should be able to handle. There just isn't anything that sets Tonjip apart from the crowd. It’s only almost two minutes into Coolite that you’re really engaged, when Usher lets off a high pitched wail that makes you think you’re about to get your head thoroughly rocked the fuck out. But - again - it doesn’t happen.

Most of Nice Guys? is satisfactory. It just never gets to that special space where the music takes over and starts to punch you in the gut ‘til you admit just how thoroughly you’re being rocked out. But it does get close. File in: Bands To Watch.

(Originally published at fasterlouder.com.au).

Politics: The Labor Party's Balls.

The Labor party has spent the last few months analysing and deconstructing their embarrassing defeat. Now, the executive has issued 50 recommendations for the party, supposedly highlighting what they did wrong, and what they need to do right.

One of the key changes the executive recommended – which has been accepted – is that leaders should sign performance contracts. These will be written agreements listing key areas in which a candidate must perform adequately in. If they don’t perform they’ll receive… counselling.

Awesome work Labor! Just in case there wasn’t enough in-fighting and squabbling within the party, they’ve now added yet another in-house bureaucratic hurdle. The executive seems to think it’ll bolster both ministerial and public faith in the candidates. They’re wrong. Such a contract serves only to make the party look like a pack of pathetic, underachieving simpletons who can only perform when they’ve got a contract hanging over their head.

If you want to boost the performance of shadow ministers, you could try formulating policies that the entire party is proud of, and willing to fight for. As it is, the party continues to suffer with ambiguous relationships with unions and ambiguous policies.

And it doesn’t help that Mark Latham’s big head has predictably eased its way towards the chopping block. He’s an arrogant man, and some key Labor ministers and members think he suffers from being so inaccessible. He’s cut from the Keating mode – he’s confident, but is he a little too confident?

No. He’s just right. He may be a welfare-hating economic rationalist with a rampant disdain for the working classes, but he’s also done an impressive job of establishing himself as leader. With only 9 odd months to work with, he managed to caress his way into the minds of Australian punters everywhere, whether they like it or not.

Labor’s terrible problems at the polls wasn’t Latham’s fault. It was the fault of a party that lacked focus and direction.

Evil, sleazy, moustache-sporting Latino villains in films are typically fond of talking about their cajones, and other people’s lack thereof. And that’s what Labor needs – the Australian equivalent of a Latino villain; someone who’s got the cajones to lay policy out on the table and stand by it, and the insatiable desire to point out the testicular inadequacies of their opponents. In short, the Labor party needs balls.

It’s small comfort then that some of the recommendations of the executive address this need. They found that election advertising was ‘far too polite,’ and they’re right. Whilst the Liberal swine went on the attack, embarrassing Latham by noting his sub-standard record as Liverpool mayor and portraying him as a retarded Learner opposition leader, the Labor punks… well, can anybody remember their ads?

They need an advertising contract that will focus on what the Liberal party will do wrong, while only briefly addressing what they have done wrong. The Australian people know that John Howard is a treacherous, lying little weasel and they don’t care. What they do care about is the possibility that they might lose cash. Labor should find weaknesses in the Liberal parties supposedly bulletproof economic policy and exploit them. They should even succumb to lies and deceit if they can get away with it. They need to get vicious. They need the cajones, amigo.

(Originally published in The Brag in the Fear & Loathing column).

(Photo: Shadow Minister for Foreign Affairs, Kevin Rudd, who once tried to learn the Charleston but failed).

Politics: The Liberal Mandate: Nice Work Australia.

Well, parliament is back in session. The pollies have flown down to Canberra, ready to see what the Liberal government – high on the heady delights of a national ‘mandate’ – has in store for them.

Last Tuesday, Governor-General Michael Jeffery outlined the Liberals’ priorities. The full sale of Telstra was up there, as well as the abolition of unfair dismissal laws. Oh, and of course, the ubiquitous war on terrorism.

The Telstra sale has been a government priority for a while now. Back when they didn’t hold the power in the Senate, all those months ago, the Libs tried to pass a full sale more than once, like twisted perverts attempting to spike the national drink. Despite the opposition of Nationals leader John Anderson – the deputy prime minister – John Howard is hellbent on pawing Telstra off to the highest bidder. And with good economic reason. Number-crunching business geeks are saying that if the government’s majority stake in the communications giant is approved by the Senate – and clearly it will be – the float will raise around $30 billion dollars. That’s a lot of cash. The business community – apart from communications competitors like Optus – are no doubt stoned with delight at the prospect of that kind of cash floating around.

But predictably, and justifiably, most Liberal non-supporters are against the deal. Full privatisation assures that regional and rural punters won’t get close to the level of service they should expect. A private business has no reason to fund enterprises that won’t make a profit, and as such, more isolated areas in Australia – and much of Australia is isolated - are pretty much assured that they won’t see full broadband coverage any time soon, assuming they even have a working phone line now.

But then, the isolated ruralist vote for the Coalition was pretty bloody high, so maybe the bastards asked for everything they’re about to get, right?

The abolition of unfair dismissal laws is a real problem. It represents the logical conclusion to a battle the Liberals have been waging on workers for years. We’ve seen the increased casualisation of the workforce, which ensures people don’t have job security, which ensures the economy can’t grow effectively as people don’t feel secure enough in their unprotected jobs to fork out big wads of cash. We’ve seen Australian Workplace Agreements, which were brought in solely to lessen the strength of Australian unions and increase the power of the employer over the employee. Now we’re seeing unfair dismissal laws annulled for small businesses.

This could have a devastating effect on huge numbers of workers, who are now opened up to the possibility of being sacked without reason or recompense. The danger is that small businesses will no longer have to answer to anyone. Whilst the theory behind the abolition is sound enough – that small coffee shops shouldn’t face the same stringent workplace regulations as multi-national businesses – the end result is a weakening of the rights of Australian workers. The trade off isn’t worth it. Sharan Burrow from the Australian Council of Trade Unions has said the legislation is ‘…basically a licence for bullying and harassment in the workplace that will not create one extra job,’ and she’s not wrong.

And as for that other Liberal priority, the war on terrorism? Uh, I think we know how well that's going...

(Originally published in The Brag in the Fear & Loathing column. Written while drunk on justifiable Liberal-hating passion).

(Photo: Liberal man Joe Hockey, who has never played ice hockey).

Music Feature: Deja Voodoo.

There’s a fine history of bands that have come from television shows. There’s the Monkees and… well, I can’t think of any others. But now, Deja Voodoo can join that fine company.

They’re a four-piece that sprung from the dubious well that is Back Of The Y, a hit New Zealand show that involves sketches, satire and personal injury. The Brag sat down with guitarist/vocalist Matt Heath and bassist/vocalist Chris Stapp for some beverages and a chat at the Clare Hotel in Sydney.

How did Back Of The Y come about? ‘We wanted to make a show which is kind of like The Young Ones and The Goodies, and all the shows we used to watch as kids,’ says Chris. ‘We’re pretty high on really shit jokes. You could argue a lot of it’s really weak. A lot of it’s people slipping on banana peels – all the comedy standards. People getting hurt’s a big one, of course.’

‘It’s shot on Handycams, and the crew is just a bunch of our mates. There’s a lot of stunts and stuff,’ continues Chris. But despite the dodginess of the production values – or perhaps because of that – the show has scored itself a legion of dedicated fans. The show has ‘a pretty huge following over there,’ says Matt. ‘New Zealand television has had nothing like that ever, so they almost get nationalistic about it.’

Deja Voodoo were originally the house band on the show that most of the band members perform in, produce and write for. ‘We needed a band on the TV show, so it looked like Letterman,’ says Matt. ‘So we formed a band just to mime.’ But then, slowly but surely, the band developed into a full blown rock ‘n’ roll force, independent of Back Of The Y. ‘The band on the TV show is, like, three dudes dressed stupidly, miming to a 15 second tune. [But] one thing we’ve done in the last year and half is get really good at playing.’

What kind of fans do they get? ‘We call them Backies. They seem to be mainly teenage boys. We go down well at university gigs,’ says Matt. He tells of a show in Lincoln University in Dunedin. ‘It’s a farmer’s university. I’ve never seen uglier people in my life. They were all in-bred. Our audience was just the lowest of humanity. One guy wore a ribcage of meat on his head. One girl was standing behind him eating raw meat off a stick…’ He laughs. ‘Lovely people though.’

How hard was it to convince the Backies that the band could justify the leap from television mentalists to on-stage rock ‘n’ rollers? ‘The really hardcore Backie fans would’ve been just as happy if we were really shit,’ says Matt. ‘In fact, they thought it was selling out when we got really good.’ Chris continues: ‘We used to be mighty shit. We’d be quite hopeless [performing live], and we’ve have to give up half-way between songs. But we’ve kind of got our shit together now.’

Matt tells me that ‘the more bogan the audience is, the better we go down.’ But it’s not just carnivorous retards and bogans who love the band. They’ve come to be loved because of their Sabbath-esque rock ‘n’ roll and electrically awesome live shows.

They’ve released the first single from their album Brown Sabbath, called Beers. It’s been described by mates I’ve asked as both retarded and fun. Matt’s happy with that description. ‘There’s a thin line between retarded and awesome.’

Deja Voodoo are definitely awesome, and certainly retarded. Their album Brown Sabbath is out now through Liberation Music. Look out for an Aussie tour soon.

(Originally published in The Brag).

Politics: Tony Abbott: An Objectively Grave Matter.

‘An objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother's convenience …Even those who think that abortion is a woman's right should surely be troubled by the fact that 100,000 Australian women choose to destroy their unborn babies every year…’

And with those words spoken at Adelaide University, Federal Health Minister Tony Abbott ignited a debate that many had assumed had already been won by the pro-choice side many years ago. Sure, his figures are way off (Medicare claims for abortion actually went down by 3654 to 72,554 from ’01-02 to 02-’03), but his Catholic moralising has successfully put the abortion debate back on the map.

Terribly, abortion is legal only in South Australia, where it was decriminalised in 1969. In all other states, abortion remains a criminal offence. However, no prosecutions are on record in any state, and the procedure is federally-funded by Medicare. Hence, abortion is practically legal, albeit not judicially.

And thankfully, on a state level, it should remain practically legal, as it is a state matter. All the states and territories boast Labor premiers, and the Labor party is a pro-choice party, as leader Mark Latham thankfully emphasised recently: ‘You've got to respect the right of women to make a choice and you've got to respect the fact that they get expert medical advice from their doctors ‘

The danger inherent in Abbott’s misogynist comments is that – with the full Liberal control of the Senate – the party can legislate its morals by restricting funding to what is essentially a ‘criminal act.’ By abolishing funding for the procedure through Medicare, Abbott and the Liberal party have the potential to restrict abortions to only those who can pay for the procedure from their own wallets.

Do ‘pro-lifers’ like Abbott have a point, morally? Absolutely. Abortion, for most, is a fundamentally shocking act. It clearly offends our sensibilities, and with good reason. As ‘pro-life’ advocates are all too keen to point out, in late-term cases (which are quite rare), abortion does involve dismemberment of the foetus to allow removal. And yes, the deliberate termination of the life of a potential human is confronting. There’s no argument that the procedure is a difficult one for many to come to terms with.

But despite the moral qualms, legal, fully-funded access to the procedure is essential. You may not support the procedure itself, but the support must be there for women having access to act.

It is abhorrent that so many powerful men think it their right to discuss the moral and legal implications of what is essentially a women’s right. To deny women the right to a legal, fully-funded abortion is tantamount to pushing the problem into the back alleys of Australia, leaving the poor and working-class to find solutions to their unwanted pregnancies without the necessary aide of medical professionals.

Abbott can have his fundamentalist Catholic views if he wishes, but he should keep them to himself. The vast majority of Australians support the right to abortion, and to have a the Federal Health Minister openly question that belief in a speech peppered with fallacy after fallacy is a disgrace, and an unsurprising indictment of the moral ineptitude of the Howard government. Abbott has been renowned as a misogynist – and homophobe, for what it’s worth – since his days at Sydney University. What is an ‘objectively grave’ matter is that he’s administering the federal health system.

(Originally published in The Brag in the Fear & Loathing column).

(Minister for Health, Tony Abbott, who is eligible for welfare benefits based solely on ear size).

Film: The Festival Express.

The Festival Express comes to town. It's 1970, the Summer Of Love is long gone, and Janis Joplin, The Band, The Grateful Dead and Buddy Guy are touring Canada, getting drunk and having fun. You up for the ride?

The Festival Express was a train taking rock ‘n’ roll greats around Canada in 1970, so that they could play a number of festivals. The Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin, The Band, The Flying Burrito Brothers and many more toured around the country, living together, partying together and jamming together. This film documents six days of rock harmony, in which so many elements that made the late 60s music scene so great come together to form one beautiful whole.

It’s an eerie film, in the best way. So many of the greats depicted here are long departed, now rendered alive and moving in this film. There’s Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead, all scruffy beard and dorky glasses, jamming with mates and occasionally pausing to play the classic tale of the Altamont disaster, New Speedway Boogie. There’s Janis Joplin, the passionate blues great, who betrays just a little bit of awkward self-loathing… but then sings Cry, Baby like her life depended on it, which it probably did in many ways (she was to die just months later at age 27, the victim of a heroin overdose).

The concert footage is fantastic, expertly filmed and edited. The sound is superb. But it’s the old footage of the bands on the train, ludicrously drunk for the most part, that is so special. All the rock ‘n’ roll legends are shown as completely human, swapping their stories and hugging each other. We see a group of musicians still recovering from the brutal slaying of the hopes and dreams they built up over the Summer Of Love, coming together to mourn the passing of the 60s and the beginning of the 70s.

This doco does everything right. As a period film, it captures the mood perfectly. Much of the film is packed with vicious brawls and angry young people, taking any excuse to bash a cop, not wanting to pay for anything. Outside of the train, there’s a sense of loathing and foreboding, as many experience the death of the American dream. But inside the train, the spirit and freedom of the late 60s lives on. And it’s that spirit which makes the film so awesome – the togetherness with your fellow man, the oneness with nature, and the willingness to share whatever you have.

As a concert film, it's near perfect, suffering only slightly because you leave the film wanting even more footage. As a road trip movie - albeit on a railroad - it's fantastic, a journey to the heart of the American dream that Hunter Thompson searched for years later in Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas.

For anybody with an appreciation of ludicrously good music – and when you see The Band play Nazareth, you’ll know your appreciation is justified – this is a must-see. Make a night out of it… check out the film, and head home to a big record collection, put on The Band, light up a joint and go back to a time when the music meant everything.

(Originally published at inthemix.com.au).

Politics: The Big One: The US Elections.

‘If you try to predict this thing, you're a moron’

– Jim Axelrod, CBS News

At the time of writing, millions of US voters are lining up to cast their votes. Voter turn out is expected to be absolutely huge, with predictions of up to 121 million punters – or 60 percent of eligible voters - taking to the booths. It seems this election will see the highest turnout since 1960, when pro-Civil Rights hornbag John F. Kennedy beat renowned sleazebag Richard Nixon.

Clearly, people are worried about where the US – and hence, unfortunately, the world – is heading. When 60 per cent of Americans brave rain, snow and cold Autumn winds to exercise their democratic right, you know that there must be something important about the election result. And there is: although Kerry’s ideologies are traditionally conservative, if Bush wins it will represent a vote of confidence in a man internationally renowned as an horrific exemplar of everything wrong with cultural imperialism and moralist puritanism. Clearly I don’t need to go into why – Michael Moore and most Sydney University arts student have done that for me.

US presidential races have always had a huge effect on international politics – just ask any Cuban who was around 50 years ago. But it’s rare that international consensus is met and every country agrees that this election could set the tone for world politics for the next four years. Italy’s La Repubblica newspaper had this to say: ‘

Perhaps a national election in another country has never before been followed with so much intensity, participation and partiality. The decision between Bush and Kerry can be defined as the first global election, in which 130 million voters in the USA function as a planetary parliament and elect deputies on our behalf to represent six billion men and women.’

But can the US function adequately as a planetary parliament? A team of international election observers is wary of that, especially after the roguish thievery seen under the Florida sun in 2000. The Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe has sent over its vigilant, United Nations-backed corps to oversee what many are prediction will be an election steeped in controversy and corruption.

It’s hard to imagine the kind of manipulation that goes on in the US, where many partisan punks think it acceptable to deny their countrymen the right to vote... especially if they're black. Most of them are Republicans, but that should surprise no one – if all the black people in America voted, George W. Bush would be beaten so brutally that his blood would stain the white marble of the White House for years to come.

Hopefully we’ll have a clear winner by the time this article goes to print. And hopefully that clear winner isn’t Bush.

(Originally published in The Brag in the Fear & Loathing column).

(Photo: John Kerry, who secretly uses non-Heinz ketchup on his french fries and then feels guilty about it later).